Miguided Information
by Rare Reads
Summary: Zim, on account of misleading erotic stories, thinks he's able to impregnate Dib with Irken children, whom will help Zim in his take over of the Earth. Anal, BDSM, Bond, M/M, Oneshot, Xeno not mine's but Shenanigans on


**I would like to say this isn't mine **

**But Shenanigans'**

**that is all**

**

* * *

**

To say Dib was angry would be an understatement. He was ENRAGED! His plan to destroy Zim, to prove he was an alien had failed…again. His plan was full proof! He'd sneak in through the upstairs window, crawl through the wires it was made of, tile and take his pictures. From there, he'd just crawl out and send the evidence to the CIA, to the FBI, to Paranormal mysteries! He'd be praised for years to come, maybe they'd even let him host – but, then that little robot found him.

He would not shut up.

"Heyyyy! Wanna play, we should play, I wanna be the piggy – you wanna play piggy – TACOS." It was just a continuous flow of words leaving the flapping jaw of that robot – so loud, too. It was like he was permanently set to maximum volume.  
And because of it, he was caught.

Now, the fact he had been stripped naked, before he was strapped into whatever "torture device" Zim had put him in, had confused him. His thighs were strapped down to his chest and his knees bent, calves resting upon the thighs. His wrists were strapped above his head and a metal clamp kept around his neck, keeping him connected to the metal plate he was supported against.

"It's never going to work, Zim! I've informed Gaz to call the FBI if I'm not back within thirty minutes! Let me go!" He exclaimed, glaring at the alien heatedly.

Zim paced back and forth, no longer wearing his "human disguise". "But why would I let you go? I have you just where I want!" He stopped his goosesteps, turning on his heel to face Dib with a grin so large, his magenta eyes squinted. "I finally have a human to use as an experiment, before I destroy this world… I need a test subject, /Dib/."

Dib frowned heavily, not liking where this was going. Was he going to take DNA samples –steal his skin, pull out his tongue for research, maybe he was going to experiment with human eyes and how they reacted to certain touches and pressure. None of it sounded fun. "I'll escape – just like every other time!"

"SILENCE." Zim finally yelled, walking up to Dib with a glare. "Or I will permanently seal your lips shut!" For added affect, he lift up an alien weapon, one of which Dib was unfamiliar with. He guessed it was some fancy flue gun. Gun, or gluegun, he shut up. Neither of those sounded fun.

"Now, I have been studying your primitive human text books – and have come up with a master plan – one that will DEFINITELY destroy the human race." He leaned forward, that grin back in place, "I will make an army - /minions/, hundreds, upon thousands of them – then those minions will create more minions and those minions more minions! Ha! HAHA!" His laugh was evil, diabolical and unbelievably fake sounding.

Dib couldn't help himself, he was a curious person - "And how do you plan on doing that, Zim?"

Zim halted his laughter, before breaking back out in the loud chuckles. "I'm glad you asked, Zimbeast!" He leaned forward, breathing ragged. "I'm going to mate with you DIGUSTING, vile humans – and, because of it, you will have Irken children!"

The snarky look on Dib's face fell for a second. "…Excuse me?"

"An irken birth may take /years/ to happen – but humans, oh no, you DISGUSTING creatures can produce offspring within six weeks of eachother! Up to twenty two at a time!" Zim explained, his eyes bright and his voice bouncing in delight.

Six weeks? Twenty two kids? "Jesus, Zim, you're thinking of a bunny! Humans can't do that!"

Zim ignored Dib, starting to shrug off his coat, then slip out of his boots. "And you, Dib, will be the first to carry my offspring!"

Dib nearly choked, this wasn't funny anymore, was Zim being serious? "Zim – I'm a boy, boys can't have babies! Stop this right now!" He exclaimed, his voice shrill and terrified.

Zim's stripping stopped for a second, looking confused, before he glared. "Lies! LIES FROM THE FILTHY HUMAN'S MOUTH!" With that, he continued to strip, until he was left with nothing but his pak. Dib blinked several times, staring between Zim's legs. There was nothing there, it was…smooth. The boy continued to stare at the alien for several seconds, before bursting out into a fit of laughter, unable to contain himself.

"O—Oh my god! It-It's like a Ken doll!"

The irken race didn't have male and female genders - but Zim figured a way around this. Combining Irken and Human DNA and using some of the latest irken technology, he was able to create a way to change this. "Computer! Change my appearance to something more…fitting." Zim's way of speaking was very soft, but passive aggressive, as if he was the best person in that room.

Which he thought was true.

A disc hovered above Zim's head for a second, before dropping down around Zim, allowing the alien to slip through the round space in the center. It hummed for a few seconds, before pulling back up, flashing all sorts of colors.

There stood Zim, with a very green, but also very human looking cock attached between his legs.  
And, it was much bigger than the average human organ – it seemed there was a bit of a miscalculation.  
The laughter immediately stopped and Dib stared at the cock with wide, terrified eyes. "…Z-Zim – I'm serious Zim, male humans can't-"

"-I said SILENCE!" Zim strode over pressing his hand against Dib's mouth. "Zim must think!" He gave him a one more glare and once Dib finally stopped his muffled talking, he stepped back, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Now…In order to get an wormhuman to reproduce, they need to be excited, in order for their internal reproductive organs to move into place…"

Where the hell was he getting this stuff from? Zim must have gotten on some questionable eroticliterature sight, or /something/, because this was definitely NOT in any human text books.

"Now, where did it say the weak points were?"

Zim leaned forward, pressing a single finger to dib's nipple, giving it a small rub. He never looked away from Dib's face, watching the reaction questioningly.

Dib hissed, then gasped, his body arching and hands clenching over his head. "Z—Zim, don't touch there!" He snapped, eyes squeezing behind the round glasses and body shuddering.

"Ha, I knew it! That's one of the areas to get this process going, isn't it!" He leaned forward, pressing his (at least what Dib presumed to be ) this thumbs against both of Dib's nipples, rubbing them harshly, before starting to pinch. Dib couldn't help it – his head fell back and a low moan left him, his cock starting to twitch to life.

Dib noticed the movement of the cock, his eyes becoming bright. "And what is this?" He removed one hand from his chest to wrap around the semi-hard dick. Dib tensed up, eyes going wide and body spasming for a second. "Stop-stopstopstopstop!" He exclaimed quickly, trying to struggle against the binds, but to no avail.

"I don't think I will, Dib-beast." Zim taunted, pinching and twisting the nipple lightly as his hand stroked the cock faster, giving it small squeezes every now and then. Those magazines he had found in Dib's room, after a bit of spying had definitely helped out Zim. "Freshmen" it was called – showing all sorts of images of humans mating. Dib was a filthy liar! Why would two men be mating if they couldn't have children? No, Zim was much smarter than to fall for those lies!

"Z-Zim- nnn -please stop." He moaned, his eyes fluttering and his glasses slipping down to the tip of his nose. He could feel the familiar pressure building in his lower stomach and his balls starting to tighten. His toes curled and his hips started to rock up a bit as the irken invader continued to stroke up and down his shaft, as he alternated between each nipple, giving each one the same amount of abuse. "I-I'm – I-I can't – please-" With a slur of unintelligible words, he came, milky white ropes shooting up into the air, before landing back down on his chest and stomach.

Zim slowly removed his hand, sniffing the sticky substance warily, before looking back up to Dib. "This is cue that you are ready to mate, yes?"  
Dib couldn't say anything, just mumbled a few things, a bit of saliva making his bottom lip shiny.

"I'll take that as a yes."

The irken stepped forward, his breath a bit heavy. That was strange, why was it suddenly so hot in this room? And how come is human organ had swelled up so much? Strange humans with their strange limbs. He pressed one hand to the side of Dib's head, while the other one gripped the base of his green shaft, leading the tip of Dib's entrance. It was then the boy was starting to come to his senses. "Zim, wai-" He was unable to finish his sentence, the alien stuffing his cock into him about half way and without warning.

There was silence for a second, then Dib let his head fall back, letting out a scream of pain. His back arched and his body strained against the cuffs, choking a bit as his neck pressed to hard to the one around his neck. "A—Ahh, p-pull it out!" He yelled, forcing away the tears.

Zim said nothing, instead pulling out till the tip nearly poped out of him, before shoving back in, going deeper. He did this each time, until his hips slapped against the other's rear. He stayed there, pantily heaving in Dib's ear, grinding slowly. God, this felt amazing – no wonder these Earth humans mated so much, it was better than anything he'd ever felt before.

"Ready Dib?" He purred in the boy's ear, pulling out half an inch, before shoving back in. "Ready to help me take over your pathetic world?"

The reply Zim got was a choked sob, which ended in a pained whined. "Mmmhmm, filthy earth boy." He groaned, pulling out, before starting to push it at a medium pace, both hands pressing to either side of Dib's head. And each time their hips met, Dib would let out a cry of pain, or a small sob, but, soon, he started to receive a different response. "Nnn-" It was the same noises Dib was making when he had been stroking the boy's cock.

His body had finally started to relax around the large size and he could focus on other things than the pain, like just how amazing it felt when the swollen head of Zim's cock felt rubbing up against his prostate. "A—Ah- " Dib continued to vocalize, his once tired dick, starting to stir to life. He'd masturbated using anal play, but never with anything bigger than his own fingers and, when he felt truly daring, he's use a marker. But having a real, hot, throbbing cock inside of him – he'd never known how amazing it really felt.

And soon he was craving more, wanting to feel himself getting plowed, abused, dirtied by the alien ruler. "Harder – oh g-god, please, harder-" He moaned, grinding back against the large cock, his chest rising and falling quickly. Zim didn't question it, happily diving himself in deeper, feeling his own pleasure in taking the tight boy. He moved his hands down to the other's waist and started to thrust wildly, using the boy as a weight, in order to pull himself in faster, harder, reaching into the farthers depths of him.

"F—Fuck me, Zim, d-don't stop!" Dib begged, clenching around Zim as he could feel himself starting to reach his climax. Oh God, this was too good, way too good.

Zim good feel himself reaching his own climax, an unfamiliar, but certainly not unwelcome feeling. And, on impulse, he leaned down, lips smashing to Dib's. He wasn't sure why he wanted to touch thise filthy earth boy more, but something made him /want/ to feel Dib's lips against his own, to feel closer to this boy.

Dib easily accepted the kiss, crying and moaning into the lip lock, before he suddenly clenched down around the cock, his hands and toes splaying out and his hole clenching around the cock inside of him. He hit his second orgasm with intensity, coming in quick and sudden spurt.

Zim gasped at the clenching, pulling back from the kiss and burying himself into Dib. He released his load with a loud groan, pumping his seed into the other, only finally pulling out when he was sure he was done. A string of cum stayed connected to the other's hole and Zim's tip.

The alien stared at the abused boy infront of him, his breathing heavy and his skin feeling hot. God, why was that so…appealing?

"I-" The alien swallowed, then spoke again, "-I think I may keep this-" He motioned towards his slowly softening cock. "-A bit longer…"

Dib didn't reply, having passed out on the metal board.

-3 months later-

Dib stared at the bulge on his stomach, which had been steadily growing over the past few months. His eyes were half lidded and his lips were drawn into a deep frown.

"Gaz…Gaz, get the coat hanger!"


End file.
